möbel jäger wohnzimmer
vegetoid, aw i hate this guy. i'm gonna try talking it out- i'm gonna try talking it over with this "plants can't talk dummy" oh i'm so fucking stupid i forgot about that here's dundertale, uh this looks like a fan made earthbound.. game i guess.. doesn't look good. doesn't look very good. flowey i'm flowey the f- this is for kids.
this is a kid's game. that is your soul. your soul starts- ugh.. this is a little kid's- little baby game isn't it. why do people like this? i mean all my fr- everybody is just going crazy over this. "down here love is shared with little white 'friendliness pellets.'" really? get as many as you can, okay. -what?
... what? oh- what? oh god. [laughter] what the fuck? no.. no no no no n-uh [gasp] nice try flowey, get the fuck outta he- goodbye. goodbye.
so as you guys can see this is not a kids game. uhh i was just saved by a cow from sesame street ...and uh i'm the first human to come down here in a long time. come, i will guide you this way so to progress here you'll need to hit the switches. "don't worry i have labeled them." okay. ooh there, i see one. watch this. ooo! bahaha. you guys see that?
watch this, watch this. oooo! i'm good. i'm good at this. "when you encounter a monster you will enter a fight. while you are in a fight, strike up a friendly conversation"?? "then i will come to resolve the conflict".. this.. this baby ass game. this is for little babies. oh my god. okay- talk to him.
[laughter] goddamn it. this stupid game. what the fuck? here's the cow.. holding my hand, to guide me through the traps. i have done excellently thus far. however- oo a difficult- this is where the shit gets real ladies and gentlemen. oh here we go. here we go.
you hear that music? oo. oof. here we go. now watch this guys. this is the trickey part. gotta walk- gotta keep going to the right. but be careful. say- oh god, you see that? oh. oh. keep goin, keep goin. it's as simple as that baby it's as simple as that. i did it. annnnd she was behind the pillar all along. there-there was no danger
trick or treat. just in time for halloween. take one? you know what? how about this. how about i take as many as i feel like. thank you very much. i'll take 'em all. i-i think i'll take three actually. actually, actually, you know what? i think i'll take four. because- n-oh shit.
so i guess you gotta move each rock onto the little platforms here. gonna go ahea- oh? ... this rock has a little attitude on him. gonna have to.. get over there. oh shit. oh no that's the rock! that's dwayne "the rock" johnson oh my god i'm so sorry the rock. i'm so sorry. your graphics.. it's.. it was your graphics. your graphics are looking so good-
much better than uh... scorpion king remember that? that... that was not good a cgi though. okay he did not move as much as i needed him get over there! get to the right! ...not up! not- get over there! get over there. that's right. you stay there now. okay.
ah- you- you bitch. you had- "knowing the mouse might one day leave its hole and get the cheese..." it fills you with determination. it's a dvd for anime. "desperate claw marks cover the edges." oh it's the dummy it's the dummy. oh yeah punch him! stupid dummy.
oo it's a house! oh dammit. it's her! it's b- it's butterscotch pie. it's baby time again ya'll. i'm back with this guy. [groans] you have to live here now? i just flew in from undertale boy are my feet tired. aww she left me a little slice of pie. aww she's a sweetheart.
aw man. i like- i like her. i like her now. no.. she's reading me books? no no no no no. no no no. no no no no no no no. we got.. how do i get outta here? how do i get out? this is my home?? no don't read me a book no! no no no no no get me out. get me out.
how do i get out. how do i flee? how do i flee the battle? ex-exit! how do i get out? don't read- don't read me the snail fact. don- don't say that. don't say what you're sayin. how do i get out. how do i get outta here.
where you goin. oh she's in the basement. home? the ruins? a one way exit? psychomantis? no no no no no no. whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. come back. come back.
whoa whoa whoa. "every human that falls down here meets the same fate- i've seen it again and again." they come, they leave, they die. you naive child, asgore will kill you. "i'm only protecting you don't you understand? go to your room." listen, butthead. you're just a cow. you don't know anything. oh here we go. here's the fight. ohhh this gonna be a good one. dunkey slice! take that!
hahahaha! your flamethrower technique, is foolish compared to me. i laugh at your techniques. ahaha- no! no.. what!? i didn't wanna kill her! why did it do so much?? it did so much damage! no..
asgore, do not let asgore take your soul... wait.. nooo no no no... i didn't wanna kill her! wha...? oh... [laughter] oh..... no.... nooo [laughter] [laughter] no...
[laughter] that's fucked up. that's fucked up! what have i done? so the basic gist of the story is that monsters have been trapp- did you guys see that? monsters have been trapped underground by humans 'cause we had some, like big battle or somethin' and now monsters really hate us. uh.. they really wanna just sneak up behind us... and just kill us all. and just wipe us out.
uh oh. there's a monster behind me. don't kill me... don't.. oh don't do that. don't touch that. don't- [farting sound] god... dammit got me with the old whoopie cushion trick. i guess this guy's supposed to capture me but he doesn't even care. no, his brother is a human hunting fanatic.
oh get me behind this. aah.. no don't kill me this is the brother i'm assuming. this guy's trouble. ooooo ooooooo. busted. no don't rat me out you piece of shit! "what if a human comes through here? i want to be ready!
"i will be the one, i must be the one!" "i will capture a human!" "then i, the great papyrus will get all the things i deserve!" "respect, recognition, and i'll be able to join the royal guard!" "people will be my friends... i will bathe in a shower of kisses!" no don't rat me out you fuck! you stupid idiot! all you do is boondoggle! all you do is boondoggle, sans. joey bonzo ladies and gentlemen.
hahaha. i escaped. oh. busted in one second. "sans! oh my god, is that a human?" oh my gad. sans i did it! undyne will.. i'm gonna.. i'll be so.. popular!
ahem. "human you shall not pass this area. i, the great papyrus will stop you-" i will capture you... you will be delivered "and then.. i'm not sure what happens next" so continue only if you dare. "absolutely no moving"... oh oh. i- b-
oh oh. oh oh. doggo blocks the way. don't move an inch! okay that worked. so i guess... [laughter] you can just stand right through the blue- oh i'mma pet him. "you pet doggo". "what!" "i've been pet!"
"doggo has been pet." "s-s-s-something pet me.... something that's not moving! i'm gonna need some dog treats for this!" "someone's been smoking dog treats." "in order to stop you, my brother and i have created some puzzles" "i think you will find this one... quite shocking!" "because this is an electricity maze" oh man. "this orb will zap you" so..
so he was holding the orb.. so now he's handing it to me now "hold this" okay. thank you. alright. i'm going for it guys. i did it! i'm pretty good. "human! i hope you're ready for..."
what's this puzzle now? oh it's on the ground see? that's it oh that's a good one. that's a good one. annnnnnd i just walked right past it. "knowing the mouse might one day heat up the spaghetti..." "it fills you with determination." "here we go again, another puzzle"
"it was made by the great dr. alphys... see the tiles" "once i throw the switch they'll change colours.." "... each colour has a different function... reds are impassable" "yellow are electric, they will electrocute you... green..." i needa write this down... "green... if you step on the green you gotta fight a monster" "orange are orange scented.." "they will make you smell like oranges" "blue tiles are water... swim through... " "but if you smell like oranges, the piranhas will bite you."
okay. "also if a blue tile is next to a yellow tile... the... the water will zap you." "purple tiles are slippery, you'll slide to the next tile" "however the slippery soap smells like lemons..." "which piranhas do not like." "purple and blue are okay" okay. "finally, pink, they don't do anything so step on them all you like" okay i think i got it- i think i got this. alright i'm ready. *clears throat*
"this puzzle is entirely random" oo. okay. this is like uh.. roguelike. 'ere we go. alr- i gotta- i gotta.. i gotta guide so.. i'm set for this. here we go... here it is! ooh! it took me three hours to make this.
look guys i'm on a cooking show with a robot we.... f- oh we forgot the most important ingredient "a human soul... ?" what ah oh "knowing one day the mouse might extract the cheese from the magical crystal.. it fil-" "human!" "this is your final challenge!" "the death gauntlet!"
oh my gad.. how the hell do you get past that? "it seems..." ooo. dang... see i knew this was a good guy. he- he is a sweetheart after all. man i knew- i knew i liked this guy see, he lets us go through. now who are these? its two snoopys
this is a dog game. welp. i'm gonna have to go for the pet. that's- that's how i do it, i'm gonna go for the pet here. oh.. shes.. "that's not your husband, okay?" uh oh, somebody's jealous. ooh here comes their attack. are you serious? h-what? [laughter] the doggies are in love.
aw man that's so sweet. that's so sweet- wait. no... oh no. he's wearing a shirt... of his wife. here's his attac- [laughter] that was his attack... nooo... [laughter]
no! [fighting back laughter] i'm sorry! don't make me uhm.. kill 'him.. to go.. to go see his wife? "this town has no mayor, but if there's a problem a skeleton will tell a fish about it." "thaaaaaaat's politics!" oh remember this guy? he was smoking the dog treats- "i can't where are the other two?" the other..?- oh no. those. those dogs would be here playing poker i think. this game makes you feel like a scumbag.
"i pity you human. "worry not, you shall be lonely no longer" "the great papyrus.. will be your... no i can't! i can't be your friend you're a human!" "i must capture you!" 'gon capture me? i'm gonna flirt with this- what? i thought i was like 7 years old or something. i can make spaghetti.. ah well.. if i can make spaghetti he's- he's cool with it i guess.
this is the worst attack of all time... oh. here we go. now he's using his fabled blue attack ladies and gentlemen. there it is. just.. just amazing. oh- what? you son of a bitch. now it's getting rea- you hear the music? now it's getting real. here we go. get outta here! behold.. his special attack!
the dog chewing on a bone [laughter] 'sa pretty good att- welp. as you guys can see i cannot beat him. his special move was too powerful. so thankfully, he will spare me. so i'm going over to merc- i'm not killing this guy i love him so much he's the cooles- no, what? no, no what? what? noo! i didn't wanna do that!
that was an accident noo. noo that's my favourite guy... he's still- his head is still alive. see guys? i don't wanna play this anymore... it's a legendary artifact. "will you take it? ... of cour- you're carrying too many dogs?" i don't have any dogs. what? when was this dog in my inventory? "you deployed the dog"
no what is he doing? "the dog absorbs the artifact" noo.. comeback! that dog will go on to become... the strongest final boss ever made. thundersnail. you guys ready for this? play as thundersnail. press z to encourage your snail- come on three... two.. one. get up there thundersnail! come on, go!
[muffled] come on.. go! get up! ... come on! c'mon man! oh why are you upside down- why you upside down? nonono c'mon! get outta the shell what are you doing you stupid idiot!? noooooo he's on fire! i killed thundersnail! [laughter] "knowing that one day the mouse might hack the computerized safe and get the cheese..." ...what have i stumbled into now. what i- "hoi i'm temmie"
"and dis my friend tem-" "ahhwaaaawrr" "humans such a cute!!" ..what? [laughter] "egg will hatch..!!" "tem... proud parent!!" "it's hard boiled" [laughter] "mushroom dance. mushroom dance. whatever could it mean?" "it means you've lived a life of sin."
"my one true love" ...? hey.. that's that robot that tried to chainsaw me on that cooking show.. is he good guy now? he's friend now? ... nope. he's still 'piece of shit. a puzzle? uh.. oh. you only get 30 seconds? or what?
fuck is going on in this piece'a shit let me out this is impossible no brazrrrrrrr fuckin piece of shit they electrocute you i can't f- i hate this [undertale ost - undertale] whoa whoa whoa wait a minute.. this is that house.. from the beginning of the game! right? isn't this the same?
asgore. at long last. we finally meet. is.. is that did we.. oh you kno- i know what we must do. i must beat your ass asgore. this whole time.. this whole time you guys he's been the bad guy all along. pickin' flowers 'n shit. ooooo. the barrier.
you see guys i have to kill asgore, to get his soul so that i have the power to go through the barrier and back to the human world. back to my home okay? it's all been building to this. "a strange light fills the room." "twilight is shining through the barrier..." "it seems your journey is finally over." "you are filled... with determination" bahhhhh- what? that's it?
that was the most anticlimatic- "i just want to see my wife and kid..." here we go again. make me feel like a piece of shit. i just wanna go home man.. just... if i don't kill him i don't get to go home... oh my god.. i guess i'll spare him... i'll just let him live. you know guys i learned a lesson "human... i promise you... for as long as you remain here...my wife and i will take the best care of you" "we can sit in the living room eating butterscotch pie-" oh god. i killed his wife. aw yeah asgore man that that's- yeah we'll be like a family- yeah man! that sounds like a cool idea.
what's that. i didn't do that. what. what? i didn't do that! guys i didn't do that, that wasn't me that time. wha- he gets killed? you piece of shit. fuckin' flower motherfucker it was him all along it was him pulling the strings all along.
it's fuckin' flowey you mother piece of.. bitch fuckin'.... what the fuck what the- fuck what the fuck is what? how do you those- oh shit he has a flamethrowerrr the fuck- what the fuck. what the fuck i'm sorry thundersnail i'm sor- aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhahahahaa aaahhhhuuh! ooooohhh!
aaaagghh! ooooh! aaagghh! aaagh! oooooh! oooh! aaaagh! [distorted and jammed screaming] oooggh! [heavy breathing]
that shitty son of a bitch it's time... for my dunkey... blast nnnnnrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggnhhhhhhhhh vrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg brap brap wwrrrrrrannnngggggggggggg vvvrrrrrrrrrnngggggggggg
[wind ambience] have i truly learned my lesson..? nope. fuck you flowey. get the fuck outta (shi)'tty piece 'a shit! get the fuck outta here wooooo i win baby. i am the master. of undertale. what is this? what is this horrify- no. no no no no no no no. it was you all along!
[cute dog noise] you were pulling the strings all along you sonofabitch i shoulda kno- oh gad uh oh. here we go. here we go i'mma pet this mother fucker i pet you, you son of a bitch en garde! don't let his appearance deceive you! he is the mastermind behind it all!
oh my god look at that attack! how devastating- you pet the dog! it was a good dog son of a bitch you're a good dog you pet the dog and it's excitement knows no bounds! rrgh! critical pet! yes! ..what's happening to his head??
what's happen- "you have to jump to pet the dog" "you don't even pet it... [dying of laughter] dog enters the realm of the clouds" [laughter] [coughing] [laughter] [outro]