wohnzimmer weis gold
ethan: guys, welcome back to another video. ethan: you've seen the black project. *ethan screams* ethan: today i'mma get fucked up by gold. ethan: hila has a strange, bizarre fetish, she's obsessed with gold products ethan: she's been begging me for the whole year to make this video ethan: and finally i've succumbed to her desires. hila: completely untrue. hila: well, i bought gold products that i want us to try.
hila: especially... ethan: yeah, especially me. i'm the guinea pig. hila: and i'm gonna be the... ethan: ethan's carer?hila: i'm gonna wear the tag. ethan: are you gonna take care of me? ethan: because i don't know what kind of carer does bizarre gold experiments on their subject. *funky music plays* hila: i have gold spray. ethan: you're gonna put that on me?
hila: we need to like, get you in the mood. ethan: you're gonna spray me with gold? that doesn't seem right.hila: i don't know, i thought - hila: i feel like you're not feeling the gold vibe. hila: i feel like you're not feeling the gold vibe.ethan: dude, you're fired! ethan: get outta here, you're a terrible caregiver. ethan: oh my god. ethan: eugh! ethan: hila, why'd you make me do this? this is so stupid. hila: uh, put it on your face, ethan.
ethan: on my face, hila? hila: yeah. hila: aaah! ethan: *wheeze* ethan: *roars* ethan: you want this, hila? is this what you want? ethan: *screaming* hila: not in the mouth! ethan: *groans*
ethan: *high voice* my spit is gold! ethan: is this what you wanted, hila? hila: i guess you could say that. ethan: what the fuck, hila, what did you do to me!? ethan: i don't look gold, this isn't fabulous, this isn't splendid... ethan: i look like a fucking troll. ethan: gaaaahhh! ethan: *gags* ethan: *ethan klein coughâ„¢*
ethan: is this good enough for you, hila? ethan: *clears throat* sorry, i just swallowed a bunch of toxic spray. hila: not really. ethan: wow, you didn't even hesitate. ethan: but you think maybe you're asking a little bit too much of me? ethan: do you ever stop to think that? hila: uhhhh... hila: no... hila: what i'm thinking is just like
hila: just to add a little touch-up. ethan: oh, god. ethan: you really have a problem, dude. ethan: can i have a kiss? ethan: hila, give me a kiss. hila: gross. ethan: what do you mean gross? you did this to me! ethan: now i can't even get a little fucking action because of it? i thought that was why i was doing it in the first place. ethan: don't avoid my nipple, hila.
ethan: get a shot of that golden-ass nipple though, you guys. ethan: damn, that shit shine, boi! ethan: so, hila. ethan: can i have a kiss? yes or no? hila: no. *sad music plays**echoing: no... no... no...* *very loud noise* ethan: you did this, dude! ethan: put out!
ethan: so, what else do you have for me, hila? hila: gold grills. ethan: ohhhh, nice. ethan: i kinda always fantasied about having a gold grill. hila: yeah, me too. ethan: so that's pretty exciting. ethan: welcome back to gold grilling... ethan: with yellow-faced, troll-ass fucking martha stewart. ethan: today, we're gonna be boiling some golden grills.
ethan: my favourite recipe. ethan: drop your favourite grills into boiling water... ethan: crank it. ethan: play some metal music, dude. *metal music ensues* ethan: so apparently you're supposed to take it out ethan: put it in your mouth while it's still hot... ethan: haaa! ethan: haaaaa!
hila: some extra schmutz. ethan: *unintelligible speech* ethan: look good? hila: lemme see. hila: oh my god, there's like... hila: the stuff coming out of the bottom, i thought it was your teeth. ethan: it's scary to other people. hila: i think i'm gonna regret doing this. hila: i think i'm gonna regret doing this.ethan: it's scary to other people, not to you.
ethan: that's a hella good look! hila: "i'm grillin' and i'm fuckin' at the same time" ethan: "we grillin' and we fuckin' at the same time" ethan: "we grillin' and we fuckin' at the same time"hila: oh no, it already fell out! hila: what up? ethan: damn! ethan: that's some gangster shit! hila: i know. ethan: i should change your name to "lil' sis".
ethan: what's a good name for you? hila: young carer. ethan: that is some thug-ass shit, dude. ethan: yo! young carer on the track, dude. ethan: spit that shit, young carer, what up, dawg? hila: represent. ethan: yeah! ethan: thug life, g. hila: i can't talk. it comes off!
*funky music* hila: i got you some beauty products. ethan: what is it? hila: it's for your hands. ethan: oh sweet! ethan: yeah- yeah i'm all about that. ethan: hook me up. hila: you see the liquid? ethan: mhm.
ethan: really encouraging. ethan: really makes me wanna put those on, huh? ethan: gross, what the fuck? ewwwww! ethan: it's so gel-y! ethan: what do i do with it? hila: i'm not sure. ethan: do i just put it on my hand? is it a glove? hila: i thought that it's a glove but... ethan: is there not instructions?
ethan: i mean, you're the fucking carer. ethan: it's your- it's your show. ethan: ok, this is a flop. hila: forget about it. ethan: guys, listen to this. hila. *odd liquid noise* ethan: you hear that shit? just to give you some idea of the texture we're dealing with. *odd liquid noise, but closer* ethan: nexflix, i know you guys are doing superhero shows.
ethan: please look me up. ethan: yellow goo trollman. ethan: hila, are you ready to kiss me yet? hila: i'm getting there. ethan: ok, i'm gonna hold you to that... when we get closer. hila: are you feeling younger? ethan: no. hila: ok. ethan: no, not at all.
ethan: what is that? hila: it's for your mouth. ethan: you want me to put that over my mouth? no! ethan: ohhh, no! ethan: *resisting* ethan: why do you torture me? you're supposed to be my carer, you're supposed to look after me. ethan: this is like a nazi like, science experiment. hila: these are beauty products, ethan. ethan: this is like when the nazis like, injected bleach into prisoners.
hila: i don't know what you're talking about. ethan: i'm calling you a nazi. ethan: i do not like that. ethan: i do not want that on me. ethan: but that's nice. ethan: i mean it really fits, and i like it because i can see through it ethan: so i can wear this around while i'm doing my daily chores. ethan: and i can still see, so i can beautify while i go... ethan: for example: to the bank.
ethan: i look really good. ethan: and this beauty project was a huge hit. ethan: you see this? ethan: what is this liquid inside? ethan: what the fuck actually is this liquid inside? ethan: ewwww! ethan: yeah, go ahead and put that on my face, straight from china. ethan: they're known for having really strict product guidelines. ethan: they definitely don't allow chinese fucking kids to pee in your mask box.
ethan: i can't breathe! ethan: i can't breathe!! hila: ok, working on it. ethan: argh, let me out! ethan: oh my god! ethan: so this- ahhhh... ethan: look, i don't care what i need to do. i just want you to like me. ethan: i want you to think i'm beautiful. i'll do whatever it takes. hila: i think you're beautiful now.
ethan: is this it? did i finally get beautiful for you, hila? ethan: hila. hila: yes? ethan: i lost my will to live. hila: that's a shame. hila: ok, let's die together. hila: i'm gonna put this one on too. ethan: this shit is not healthy for human consumption. ethan: they put this nasty gooey gel...
ethan: uuuggh hila: *screams* ethan: dude. ethan: there it is. ethan: nice. hila: oh, it's cold! ethan: yeah it's cold baby. embrace it. embrace the cold. hila: not inside the mouth! ethan: now you have to bite down. bite down!hila: nooo!
ethan: there you go, it's like a little chin strap. hila: it's so cold! ethan: embrace the cold. ethan: how do you feel? hila: so you just sit with this for 10 minutes, and then your life is gonna improve. hila: so much. ethan: i'm gonna come out looking like brad pitt. hila: yeah, probably! ethan: it's gonna be amazing.
hila: we can be- we can be 'brangelina'. ethan: oh, they just got split up, hila, that's dark. ethan: why would you say that? ethan: very bad timing, dude. *odd liquid sound again x2* ethan: before i go clean off... ethan: and wash all this shame and filthy frank off me... ethan: i wanna thank our sponsor: lootcrate ethan: ...for helping to support our addiction to chinese beauty products
ethan: and for shortening my life-span by 5 years. ethan: let's have a look what's in this lootcrate's month. ethan: wait, lootcrate's month of this- ethan: did i have a stroke? ethan: let's see what's in this month's lootcrate. ethan: the theme of this month's lootcrate is speed. ethan: tonk starks! ethan: i could wear this, but i think my beautiful yellow body is way more interesting. hila: way better.
ethan: so i'll just put this aside for now. ethan: first of all, lootcrate, you know this is the gold episode. ethan: why are you sending us silver figurines? hila: what's with the silver? ethan: guys, come on, get on the ball. ethan: that being said, the flash, pretty dope. ethan: next item is this, uh, battlestar galactica. ethan: these are the villains from that show ethan: i love that show, everybody loves that show.
ethan: they were responsible for creating these chinese beauty products. ethan: ...and shipping them around the galaxy. ethan: no laughter? ethan: gone in 60 seconds: dope. ethan: fuckin' hood comes up, what's going on in there? ethan: there's no engine. ethan: but somehow it drives. do the doors open? hila: nah ethan: get me some pliers dude, i want these doors to open.
ethan: batman keychain. i love batman. ethan: batman has always been my favourite superhero ethan: because he's just a dude! ethan: that's what's so badass, he's just a fucking guy that fights superman, somehow. ethan: he's such a badass, he's just a man. hila: you probably wished that he was chubby too. ethan: you can still be cool and chubby, hila. ethan: what are you trying to say? hila: i didn't say anything!
ethan: can i just make it through one episode without hila trying to humiliate me? ethan: you got a pen, you got your schmutz. ethan: this was a really cool box. this was speed. ethan: now, if you guys want next month's lootcrate ethan: the theme is horror because of 'spooktober' coming up next month. ethan: and you can get 10% off by visiting the link in the description: ethan: and type 'h3h3' at checkout for a coupon code. ethan: 10% off! hila: nice.
ethan: horror, it's gonna be a fucking good one, guys. ethan: now excuse me... *splat* ethan: now that i'm all golded up, i'm ready to wash down. ethan: and what better way to wash down than with a gold bar of soap? ethan: ohh gross! hila: oh, god. ethan: hila, it's not making my skin yellow. ethan: is this supposed to dye my skin yellow? hila: it's made out of gold.
ethan: is it coming off? ethan: am i pretty yet? hila: very pretty! ethan: hila, do you wanna kiss me yet or not? hila: maybe later, yeah, just keep washing your face. ethan: *odd goat noise* ethan: guys, thank you for watching the gold project. ethan: stay tuned next week where we'll be doing the salad project. ethan: where we'll all just turn into a head of lettuce and do social experiments in black neighbourhoods.
ethan: it's gonna be a lot of fun guys. thanks for watching. *outro theme plays*