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when you call a suicide helpline in japan you may have to dial that number 30 or 40 times because the lines are so busy. a lot of people; have a lot of problems but nobody to talk to nobody to listen and they say please god, somebody answer the phone i dream of a war.
a war on suicide, but i don't even know; who is the enemy? who is it? what is it? that's killing so many of us? 1 million people in the world every year. 30,000 lives lost in japan alone. i don't know, what i'm doing, i just know, i have to do something.
in japan, nobody dares to talk about the causes of suicide or how to fight them. but books teaching you how to kill yourself, sell over a million copies. what if 10,000 lives could be saved in japan? not by miracles but by ideas, by honesty? would anybody dare to listen? if death, is darkness, this is about life:
this is about trying to take back life; from the jaws of death. this is about choosing hope over despair, even when you are desperately hanging on by your fingernails 300,000 japanese people have killed themselves in the last 10 years that's around the population of iceland. the suicide rate in japan is twice that of america. 3 times that of thailand. 9 times higher than greece.
12 times higher the philippines. is that something acceptable? or is it time we start to fight back? suicide virus one year driving around tokyo asking so many people, the same question, again and again. the suicide rate is high in japan still　 to be honest i don't know the real reason
but the fact is that killing ourselves is always in the back of minds we see everyday in the newspaper in the media some people killing themselves including famous and successful people like politicians and business people when we face a serious problem we have to make some certain choices one the ultimate choices that we may make is killing ourselves
one of the features of suicide in japan is the weakness of people to suggestion. look at how often japanese people try to find others to die with. others who share the same despair. so they will search online to find each other, and they make plans to die together. there are a lot of japanese who do this. the feeling behind this behavior is that it seems more reassuring and safe to be with others.
even though everybody is going to die. why are we japanese so vulnerable to the power of suggestion? there are no samurai left in japan there are no kamikaze pilots either all that remains is a feeling that suicide can be beautiful the suicidal tendency amongst japanese authors has been extremely high if you just list them going through the decades
there are many who took their lives and the pattern is totally out of shape with the rest of the world there is nowhere else where the suicide of novelists is so prevalent what makes a suicide hotspot become a famous location for suicide? in the case of the tojimbo cliffs, there was the local author jun takami. he wrote a book "from the edge of death". death is always a best seller and it made here a tourist attraction. for cape ashizuri,there's the author torahiko tamiya. his novel was also made into a movie.
it made the cape a popular spot for suicide. yes i was the person that think suicide is a kind of beautiful thing before having the experience that my friend has committed suicide suicide was something unrealistic that's why i could easily believe that suicide is something that is beautiful what mishima did in real life was not so beautiful how he killed himself in real life is so different from how he
wrote in his novels right in his novels, killing himself is so beautiful it's such a gorgeous moment that what he described in his novels his suicide should not have happened i was broken by it i was really really unhappy with this suicide and its still with me today it is an unbearable event and when i say that it should not have happened
i mean that those of us who knew he had suicidal tendencies and should have found a way to enable him to continue to live talking about the book publication i was stunned to find how to kill yourself in which how to tie your hanging ropes, how to make it, all the details i think its quite natural to have such a manual of how to kill yourself
because, if i decide to kill myself i don't want it to take so much time until i totally die because i don't want to be suffering from pain it was a like a teenager's room and, unusually for japan he had a bunk bed he was half naked, wearing pyjama bottoms on the bed with his back facing me his back looked kind of pink but he looked like he was asleep
and, there was a piece of paper on his back and i didn't really pay attention to it you know, for some reason i felt like i should wake him up and see what's going on and just as i was about to do that, the detective said "hey, stop, move back. do not touch that kid" and when i looked at his back written on the paper was "do not touch, fear of electrocution" and, looking from the side, you could see that
he had taken wires and plugged into the sockets and taped them to his chest and had electrocuted himself there was a kind of slightly unpleasant acrid smell i guess it smelled a little like burnt bacon, i don't know how to describe it. the detective showed me a copy of the book that had been marked with a fusen which is like a post-it in english at the section for electrocuting yourself
the detective said, you know i'd like you to write about this, because this book is really a horrid thing parents should know, if they see their kids with this book that they may seriously be considering suicide and that they should talk to their children and explain to them that suicide is never a very good answer and i agreed with him
last year i performed funeral ceremonies for about 80 suicide victims. i talked with each family one by one. almost all of them knew about this book. whether they had read it or not, they knew about it. i've talked with several hundred people who've told me that they want to die. they say that life is so hard that they cannot bear to keep living. almost every one of them knew of that book. i'm sure there must be some kind of influence coming from it. it whispers in your ear: kill yourself
are you tired, are you overworked? are you burdened with problems? wouldn't it be nice to go to sleep and never wake up again? that's kind of how one of the chapters runs it makes suicide seem like an appealing solution and by rating the levels of impact and the lethality, the amount of pain involved it appeals to different kinds of various people
how do you want to kill yourself? why do you want to kill yourself? do you want to kill yourself and cause your family great distress? well then jump in front of a train because the train companies are then going to make your family pay huge damages the problems with most people that kill themselves is very short sighted or there is some part of their brain that thinks that they are going to be around to enjoy the funeral
or the whole commotion that is created by their own death or that they will know how much they were loved or that their girlfriend will realize that they loved them but when you're dead you are not around to do that unless you believe in ghosts even then, what do you do after that it's not like you can come back and reclaim your body i think media, particularly tv stations
why they are reporting the specific names of the victim and the way how they killed themselves these things are just intriguing somebody who wanted to kill themselves who wanted to kill themselves they love news stories like this somebody goes in front of the train they are hit by the train their body flies in the air off the track into the convenience store window
injuring three people reading magazines inside that is sensational, people enjoy that but if you want to do something to stop train suicide that is not interesting we are not interested in that at all when a suicide story is reportedby the mass media, there are copy-cat suicides in the following days. this happens in every country. but in japan, the scale is different. its 100 or 1,000 people who die.
this is due to the japanese mentality. whether you think it's good or bad, we japanese often imitatethe person next to us. they regard suicide as the way to entertain audiences dramatized scenes of people hanging themselves or jumping off buildingsare very common on japanese tv. this makes suicide look so easywhen people visualize hanging or jumping. but in reality, people wet themselves, foam at the mouth and tears flow uncontrollably.
the media never bothers to show this very ugly side of hanging. they never showthe horrific physical damage. suicide manuals and all the countless suicide websites will all tell you that aokigahara forest is the most beautiful place on earth in which to die now i must admit it is a truly beautiful place but not to die in because your body will be left undiscovered for several months
be eaten by all the little forest animals and become the happy home for a wide variety of insect life until eventually you will be carried out in a black plastic bag by tired municipal workers earning 10 dollars an hour but there is something even worse the human scavengers who'll come to look for you treasure hunting, they are not looking for gold, or silver they are looking for a rope, razor blades, shoes, wallets
or they are looking for the jackpot they are looking for a hanging body you put that hanging body on youtube you'll get a million people viewing it, downloading it you get tv shows, serious news shows coming here, looking for bodies viewing corpses, skeletons from every angle you've got movies coming here
talking about ghosts, spirits, it's haunted all trying to make money all trying to use here as entertainment, a place of tragedy and what happens is that more and more people will come here more and more people will kill themselves it's already the number one suicide spot in the world stop advertising it, mass-marketing it to make money why not try and do something about suicide
rather than promoting it the economy you've lost your job you've been cut in all of the employment cutting that is going on but you still have a mortgage of twenty years left to pay you've got children's education fees to pay what do you do? well you go and get the solution is here, it's very easy you get all your debts are paid
your mortgage repayments are finished and your children will have a great education and you'll get may be 300,000 dollars or so and all you have to give, is your life people would come, sign a life insurance contract and go straight out, and kill themselves under the nearest train they said ok, well that can't happen, that's a little bit ridiculous but we will put a 1-year exemption period on this so, you sign a contract
and you must wait one year before killing yourself to get the money well that is still a very very good deal for desperate people so, the suicide rate spiked on the thirteenth month the insurance companies said ok, well what if we had two years of exemption so you sign a contract, and you can't kill yourself for two years the twenty-fifth month why is it that life insurance companies pay out on suicide
stop paying people to kill themselves stop incentivizing people to die and leave their families alone which families would say i'll take the money. i'll lose the husband one the things i really admire about japan and the japanese is this deep sense of personal responsibility especially as it relates to debt and money and one of the unfortunate things about japan and the japanese is that, a way of showing responsibility is to kill yourself it shows sincerity that you really are sorry
regarding debt problems, the stress of holding many different loans is a huge factor in suicide. when people first encounter money troubles, they will borrow from family and friends. but if they still can't find a job or a source of stable income, they are forced to try to borrow from family and friends again. but when this situation goes on and on the family will eventually say"no more, that's enough". when you're desperate for money to survive,
the easiest way to get cashis from consumer finance. consumer finance in japan has always had a little bit of a reputational problem. it's a very difficult industry to regulate because all you need are big bag of cash and many desperate people to be able to charge them very high interest rates in fact, it's a little bit difficult to distinguish in japan sometimes the difference between consumer finance and loan sharking despite the support of big banks and glossy tv commercials some very old style collection methods have been used in recent years
why not sell your eyeballs to eye banks? why not sell your kidneys for transplant use? so this is exactly saying why not kill yourself and get the insurance payout money as a fund for repayment of a loan in 2005 the government noticed a very disturbing trend 5000 people had killed themselves and life insurance policies were paid not to their families but to consumer finance companies
consumer finances companies were routinely taking out life-insurance policies on borrowers they never bothered to tell them and a suicide was a win for a consumer finance company consumer loan company people visit not only to the debtors, but also their family members or relatives or their offices so, this gives us a very big pressure for them to select the last way to commit suicide
we have got to control the consumer finance companies we are going to reduce the interest rates we are going to crack down on the behavior of companies and everybody said, this is great the government is finally doing something positive but there was one big winner from this and unfortunately that was organized crime people who can not get money from legitimate sources will simply go to shadier sources
and the shadier sources will be better and more vicious about collecting their money at about 5pm your own work is almost finished. 5:30pm is the official going home time. but when you look around, everybody is still working. it seems like they all still have many things to do. your boss looks like he is still working so hard. in this situation what many japanese people do is called peer-pressure overtime. you don't actually have any work left to do, but your colleagues don't look like they are leaving any time soon.
it's just not that kind of "going home" atmosphere. so you wind up staying working along with them. of course companies officially say that you should go home earlier. they don't want you dying from overwork etc. they say spend more time with your family. all these things are said as the official line. but if you naã¯ve enough to take this official line as the truth if you think well its 5.30pm, time for me to go home now later, behind your back
people will complain that you are always the first out the door. "he just doesn't get the way we work here." nobody kills themselves in a right state of mind nobody calmly says: you know what i think that's enough now i think it's time to kill myself, i have enough of life it is always an element of mental illness it is always an element of depression that forces people to do that
two thirds of all depression come from a trigger, from a pressure from: i can't get enough sleep i am being overworked i am being bullied by my boss i am being forced to work these terrible long hours i am being given impossible goals that i can't do i am an inferior person i am a failure in the company
i just want to get out i can't take it anymore i just can't take it anymore again this hierarchical male chauvinistic society that's killing them, and pressing them for example having to take time off due to mental pressure is seen as a poor excuse for missing work. especially by middle-aged and older workers. stressed employees are seen to have a weak personality.
they are branded as lacking in effort. that's the reality of the work place in japan. a japanese taxi driver will never try to cheat you. by taking you the long way to a destination. he goes the wrong way because he just doesn't know where he is going. he's probably working a 30 hour shift. and is living a life he never expected. or wanted. several of my friends, my current taxi driving colleagues,
used to have good jobs as company managers. but their companies went bust due to the recession. since most of them have only limited skills and also considering their advanced age, other companies didn't want to hire them. they couldn't even get a job at a convenience store. so they end up in taxi driving as there are no age limits here. you just need to be able to read maps and drive. the key point for elderly people and also for young people is that
they just can't find what they want to do with their lives. these days, people can no longer follow their dreams. people can't find any sense of their own worth. what's the reason i'm here? they desperately need to find that reason. demographics exam pressure is quite big in japan. recently parents think of education as an investment. so for example with entrance exams,
parents also have to look good. they have to take interviews. they also have to do their own preparations. so it's natural, that when you are investing so much of your own time and money you seriously want your child to get results. exam pressure comesdirectly from parents to children. i know if i don't get into the right school, high school, i am not going to have a chance if i don't get into the right university, i don't have a chance and in university, the suicide rates are really really high in japan
people failing exams, people jumping off the buildings it really doesn't happen on the same level anywhere else related to suicide, bullying is a big issue in particular talking about youth suicide and there is a big fight between groups and individuals a girl last year killed herself, she was 8 years of age she was being bullied in school the bullies had written all over her school books "shi-ne" which means "die"
the school ignored the complains from her parents they said she wrote that on her books herself she hung herself in her bedroom with her towel and only afterwards, the school comes out with an apology it's always too late in the case of bullying talking about my experience in elementary school days my teacher led the bullying to me i was a kind of unique student from the perspective of character and conduct
the teacher did not like that, and started bullying and other students followed for people who have unique way of thinking or unique behavior japanese schools are a difficult place to live in our hospital, there is an emergency room and i find there are many cases of so called "wrist cuts" they are usually young girls or young women and they cut their own wrist with knives or razors i was a victim of domestic violence from my husband.
i entered a domestic violence protection center. but i felt they treated me very coldly. so then i contacted the police for help. but of course the police didn't do anything for me. i found these public institutions to be so cold. they didn't do anything to help me. there was a case of a woman in her thirties about which i'm still deeply-distressed. she was a non-regular worker. this means she worked as a temporary office worker.
when she lost her job, at the same time she had to leave the company dormitory too. she returned to her family house. but she didn't get along with her parents. when japanese women are over thirty, they are often pressured by parents to get married. how much longer will you be living with us? after this she didn't feel she had a home. she felt so unwelcome in her parent's house.
even though she wanted to go back to work, it's hard to find a job these days. she started to get depressed. and started to withdraw from society. she found it increasingly hard to leave her bedroom. she suffered domestic violence from her boyfriend. she began to lose her faith in humanity. finally, she chose to hang herself at her parent's house. she chose to kill herself in her parent's bedroom.
this was a clear message to them: "i was in agony and you did nothing for me." i went to the scene during the on-site police investigation. we unwound the rope from around her neck and put her body into the coffin. when it came to the time for her cremation, i tried to put some flowers in the coffin. i remember this moment clearly even now. the woman had died from suffocation by choking. her tongue came out like when we're running and can't breathe.
in this way her tongue was sticking out. her face was very contorted. so when we were closing down the coffin lid. i said let's put some flowers inside. but her mother said i'm sorry but i can't bear to show that face anymore. there's no need for any flowers. one third of all suicide victims in japan are over 60 but nobody really talks much about elderly suicide they are just old, tired of life
what's to talk about? challenges after retirement number 1: no place to go everyday number 2: no identity in society number 3: no hobbies number 4: no human networks and number 5: no idea what i should do i provide medical services in a small community. it's in a very rural and remote place.
there are many elderly people living there. if they can walk, they come to the hospital. but if it's difficult for them to walk, they almost always stay at home. they are one step short of being bedridden.they are unable to get out of their home. if they still have their wife living with them it's not so bad. or if their husband is still alive, it's okay. but if they are alone, it can be a really tragic situation. nutritionally speaking, they can no-longer cook. they start to have hygiene problems in the house.
they can't look after themselves.they can't even take a bath. in addition to this situation,they live in complete solitude. this is such a heart-breaking situation. if you are on your own, it's a very very lonely place in japan. and loneliness is one of the key factors of the problems particularly for the elderly. they can't get out, there is no way of getting to them who wants to talk to them?
loneliness kills so many people in japan they'll never admit to depression or wanting to die. when they come to see a doctor, they say i'm so tired, i can't sleep at night, i'm not feeling good. i always have a headache and am feeling rotten. in this case we as doctors, need to realize early on that it's not just an ordinary headache. we need to look at their family situation and identify the problem as soon as possible. the medical term is called "masked depression".
it's crucial to find it at an early stage and take action. one measure is just talking with them and counselling them. if necessary, medication should be started as soon as possible. i often talk with my wife if we suddenly get a stroke or something and are paralyzed and live in wheelchairs and always need children's help and care it won't be meaningful to live a long life if it causes others some trouble
and most likely, a normal person would start to think may be i should disappear from earth so that i won't cause trouble to loved ones gambling is not allowed in japan gambling is illegal so what you are seeing here is not gambling it just looks like gambling it's people winning and losing money some losing money and building massive debts
but in japan remember please gambling is not an addiction and it has absolutely no link to suicide or debt or anything negative it's all about happiness especially for the elderly who really enjoy spending 7 or 8 hours a day watching all the little pachinko balls falling and saying "what a wonderful life i have!" but please, as this poster says: don't leave your child in the car when you are gambling
because they will be cooked alive in the summer heat alcohol linked to suicide in japan? how dare you even suggest that! in japan, alcohol makes you feel better when you are lonely and depressed and a bottle of whiskey can help you think more clearly and get your life in order nobody ever does anything stupid when they are drunk and depressed
and on tv, all the big celebrities will tell you: "come on, have another beer! it's the summer time!" there is really no facilities whatsoever for trying to cure alcoholism in japan here no statistics existing on the subject the journalism world doesn't cover it at all i have probably not seen more than two stories in 50 years on the problems of alcohol it's just a problem that is considered to be part of japanese society and therefore it's not a subject to be taken up i live in the shinjuku district of tokyo.
in shinjuku, kabukicho is a very lively area. many people come here to work from all over japan. because kabukicho is such a busy area. there is a lot of nightlife and prostitution. when you look at the statistics of tokyo city, the suicide rate in shinjuku, is high for those in their twenties and thirties. there are many female victims in their twenties and thirties in particular. this doesn't really happen in other districts.
why is the suicide rate of young women so high in shinjuku? this is what i think. last year i performed several funerals for young women in shinjuku. they came from rural areas with a dream. but for some reason their dreams were torn apart. they started working at bars or in the sex industry. but they got cheated by menor they got conned out of money. or they became sick for some reason. many of them lost hope about the future.
they decided to jump off buildingsor overdose on drugs and kill themselves. there are many of them who commit suicide like this. suicide prevention that's the blue light if you look at the blue light, everything will be alright all your troubles, all your worries, they just melt away... it's a cheap form of suicide prevention like happy paintings on the walls of stations
and ot be honest, i though blue lights were a complete joke. but early results are showing a dramatic fall in the number of suicides in the stations with the blue lights nobody can really explain why but blue lights are working. train seem a particularly effective way to kill yourself but statistics show, that 40% of all train-hit victims do not die, they are just horribly injured
they lose their legs, they lose their arms pity the train drivers who are left haunted by what is known as "the last look" eye to eye contact, the split second before my friend committed suicide at ogikubo station. it was around 10 years ago, the penalty fine for the family was $60,000. i got to know someone from the railway company. i helped them set up a telephone helpline. i found out that the railway company has a manager in charge of "human accidents".
so i asked him about family penalty fines. he said that for each train suicide, it costs the company around $700,000. this is because passengers will change to other train lines. there is also the cost of cleaning up the accident. the clean-up of the body costs $60,000. the company charges the family for this clean-up. my friend's family paid all the money. in japanese society, it's the family's responsibility. for those who commit suicide in rented apartments
their parents can expect a large bill from the landlord because evil spirits are supposed to have frightened away other tenants an "exorcism" is required due to evil spirits. why is it only suicide creates evil spirits? it's a nasty kind of prejudice and discrimination. i'm totally disgusted by this way of thinking. if you were to go to court to fight these exorcism fees, because it's such a violation of human rights the courts would throw out these demands.
one suicide, has ten suicide attempts that means that there is at least 300,000 suicide attempts in japan every year that means that there is a lot of people who have tried to kill themselves that are going to the hospitals in japan, it is reported it's an amazing number, it is reported that 10 to 20% of all the patients transferred to the most critical emergency medical centers in japan including cardiac problems, or strokes, or traffic accidents
10 to 20% of patients transferred to the er are suicide attempters in japan the suicidal people are coming in to the hospitals everyday cutting their wrists, overdosing and what happens is the hospital will put a bandage on their wrist and say don't do it again, off you go they cut again, and again, and again and come back to the emergency room
you could save so many lives so a suicide attemptee comes in option 1: have a psychiatrist there have some kind of a social worker there is it too expensive? yes? well at least take their names, take their details. follow up with them, are they alright afterwards? why not put them in touch with some psychiatrist why not give them some free consultations?
incentivize them to try and get help to not just come back, go back home, and a week later, cut their wrists again and they are off again because one of the times, one of the next times they are not going to the hospital, they are going straight to the morgue here we are at ground zero the japan mental health-care system, when facing the dark horrors of depression,
what support can japanese people expect in their hour of greatest need? psychiatric services are not so good in japan so far one reason is that the large number of psychiatric people are hospitalized, institutionalized and partly because of that the support in the community the support for psychiatric patients in the community is not good or not sufficient
the psychiatric patients find it hard to live in this very difficult society these kind of people, sorry to say, weak people are pushed aside out of the society then they choose to kill themselves of 30,000 suicides in japan 10,000 are already in the mental health-care system they are having consultations, they are getting medications or they have been institutionalized
japanese psychiatrist are forced to deal with a very large patient base so that the average clinic can include 40 to 50 patients in a city hospital setting such that, the psychiatrist only has 3 or 4 minutes per individuals do you think you can solve your problems in 3 or 4 minutes? especially when the doctor, is already spending half of that time writing down so many prescriptions of medicine for you to take does it work? does it matter? of course, here you go, take your medicine there is already someone outside the door
you have your problems with debt, you have problems with your family you have been bullied at school you are feeling that life has no meaning that's the time over now please as a result of limited resources, both in term of psychiatry and para-professionals trained psychiatric nurses, social workers and other mental health professionals care in japan has been largely focused on
psychosis, largely in-patient and has included very long hospital stays and primarily custodial care when you go into a mental institution in japan it's very hard to get out because mental institutions are private institutions like hotels, you have to fill the beds you have to fill the room occupancy physicians have to rely unduly on high doses of multiple anti-psychotic medication
which is really very unusual so the kind of treatments that one may expect in the west individual therapies, group therapies, milieu therapies simply don't really exist yet in the in-patient psychiatric setting here every journey must have an end; our journey ends here, on the cliffs of tojimbo. yukio shige, was a policeman; sent to work at one of japan's most infamous suicide locations.
his job was often to go in a small boat and fish the remains of victims, out of the sea in one month, he recovered 10 bodies and wondered; why did nobody ever tried to stop the people jumping? when he retired; he came back to tojimbo, to try to do something. he used his retirement money to open a tiny cafã© near the cliff's edge and from there he patrols every day, all day; the symbol of the loneliness of suicide prevention in japan. in the case of traffic accidents, it's the responsibility of the police.
the prevention of traffic accidents is a law and order issue. in 1970 a war on road death began because 16,000 people were dying on the roads. the police took the leading role in trying to reduce the number of traffic accidents. the government and citizens worked together on this. today the number has fallen to 5,000 a year. one third of the previous total.
looking at suicide in japan. there've been 30,000 deaths every year for the past 12 years. despite this high number of deaths, nobody takes any responsibility or action. this is just a desperate situation. if we can't force the government to do anything, we the ordinary people can try to do something. so i managed to gather together some people. now i have 87 volunteers working with me. about 20 of them patrol the cliffs with me.
so far by doing this for 6 years and 7 months, we've been able to save 297 lives up to today. this cliff here is the number one spot for suicide. often people are waiting here alone until sunset. they're just sitting here, waiting for somebody to talk to them. we go over and talk to them. we ask them what is troubling them? and we try to help them to solve their problems. we also give this kind of help.
from the 297 people that we have rescued, only 4 of them have killed themselves afterwards. the rest are doing well and have made a new start. nobody wants to die. they're just waiting for help. why don't we try to reach out to help them? a citizen's life is priceless.it's a treasure, isn't it? people are begging for help, aren't they? why are we not reaching out our hand to them?
if you just look the other way, that's just the same as a crime. it's an aggravated abandonment crime. 646 people have jumped and died here in the last 30 years. 646 people! there are only three spots here that you can jump off from. surely you can build something at those three spots. so we've pleaded with the local authorities to do something. but they just say no because this is a tourist spot, what exactly are they saying? saving lives is not as important as making money from tourists?
that's a crime. it's the same as murder. we already have all the answers. we already know exactly what to do. but we choose to do absolutely nothing. i'll never forgive this. too little, too late i thought what a nightmare to have a neighbor like this one who is always knocking on your door for tea and sympathy. as she had got older, work had got less and less;
she said she'd barely leave her room. i quickly got bored listening; it was depressing. so when a knock would come, i'd turn down the tv and keep quiet she slipped a tiny note under my door, with her phone number, e-mail address, phone e-mail; saying talk to you soon: then thankfully, she stopped knocking. a couple of months later,
i got angry when the landlord wouldn't fix the gas leak that was leaving such a horrible smell in the corridor. she was only discovered after 3 or 4 weeks of the summer heat. two days later, i looked out the spy hole of my door, to see an elderly lady stacking boxes. despite the smell, she didn't wear a mask, it was still her daughter. no matter how many people i interview or what answers i find saving 10,000,
i will always know; i couldn't even save one. i didn't care, it was too boring. it's not up to the government to save us, blaming this or that. sometimes all you need to save someone's life is to take the time to listen. if we are looking for the enemy in a war on suicide, all we have to do is to look in the mirror. in memory of a friend