dekoartikel fürs bad

[5-minute harry podcast] *yodeling noises* welcome to the 5-minute harry podcast a podcast by and with me, coldmirror in which i take apart 5 minutes of the movie 'harry potter and the philosopher's stone' and analyse every little detail a podcast to remember, to giggle and for some to fall asleep to have fun wiiith episode 2 by the way i caught a cold please forgive me my otherwise smooth as silk voice is a bit scratchy

in the last podcast i talked about minutes 1 to 5. so now it's minutes 5 to 10. it starts with aunt petunia, whose hands cover harry's cousin dudley's eyes while harry cooks breakfast in the background and ends with harry getting the mail and keeping a mysterious letter to himself. at the beginning of this 5th minute we see harry cooking breakfast and to be precise he's frying something in a pan. here we get a nice view on harry's t-shirt, which has a huge hole at the collar. like before it seemed slightly frayed

now we can see: it is actually really torn. if i had a shirt like that back then, my mum would have taken it away already and transformed it into a general purpose cleaning rag or my grandma would have sewed a really ugly, embarrassing patch on it or at least one that doesn't have the same colour as the t-shirt. it is hugely important for grandmas that their grandchildren don't walk around in torn clothes even if that's the fashion right now so you don't have a cool pair of jeans in a 'used look' anymore but an embarrassing one in the 'grandma-fixed-it-look'.

experience completely made up oh well. harry does his best preparing breakfast balances a yellow pan, that is slightly too big for his small child arms, to the kitchen island to put delicious bacon on a plate of which he for sure never gets anything. however, he's doing this very clumsily, he doesn't manage to put one single bacon on the plate. they all fall from the spatula back into the pan.

uncle vernon yells at him to hurry up and the hands are being taken off of dudley's eyes. here there's a short detail: aunt petunia covered dudley's eyes and on her left hand she's wearing two rings on one finger. probably her engagement ring, as this one has a small stone in it, dunno diamond or something. depends if uncle vernon can even afford this. according to the books he's the director of a company for drills, so that could be. here i also want to mention, in case someone listens who is looking for love but thinks: oh i'm not really beautiful, i'm not that smart either. i'm not interesting

will i ever find someone for me? if vernon dursley and petunia, the two spawns of hell, managed that then you can, too! dudley is proof, that they, at least once, fucked each other! have fun with that mental image, we'll continue in addition to the golden engagement ring with a diamond, petunia wears a simple golden ring on the same finger as far as you can call a golden ring simple. she's also wearing a small golden watch on her wrist

and a pearl necklace around her neck. so she is able to afford these things but a simple, not torn shirt for her nephew harry is apparently too much. and she and vernon probably stand in front of shop windows with children's fashion from time to time and see a piece of clothing for the average child like harry and smile at each other knowingly and both say: ooooohhhh, we won't buy that! and walk straight into the shop next to it and buy another golden necklace for petunia. dudley is finally allowed to look, petunia isn't covering his eyes anymore,

because it is his birthday today, and is now allowed to look at all the presents near the kitchen table. there are incredibly many presents, exactly 36. uncle vernon counted them himself. including a remote controlled crane, a new bike, a ball, and the rest of the presents is wrapped. you can't see what's inside, but it feels like 100 different wrapping papers. so every present has a different paper,

one is red and has 'happy birthday' written all over it, one is in comic-style, with little speech bubbles that say boom, pew, kapow, one is yellow green squared, the next is blue with happy suns and clouds. and the ribbons around the presents are of course all different too. that is the ultimate mca of present wrapping. i own exactly one roll of wrapping paper and that's neutral and simple so it fits every event no matter if it's birthday or christmas or whatnot

and i use it until it's done and then i buy a new one and that's okay. why the effort? it's getting ripped off either way. what's up with that crap? i think the presents are from different people, i can't imagine any other possibility. no normal person has that much wrapping paper. and if it was only from vernon and petunia then wow...wow! petunia needs another cupboard under the stairs to store all this wrapping paper. "sorry you can't live here anymore, harry. the wrapping paper needs to go here." dudley by the way is completely unfazed by the pile of presents, because last year he had one more.

he freaks out completely and you can see the happiness falling from aunt petunia's face. what was an excited smile is now a scared scowl. and they decide to go to the zoo, where he can get two more presents. and we see harry's face in a close up. he watches the whole situation and has the best death stare ever and probably thinks: "you ungrateful, messed up shithead." "i hate you more than anything." "you ugliness. i hope you die from an unlucky fall down the stairs."

or something like that. here we can also see harry's glasses which, as everyone should know, has round lenses, but is held together on the nose with tape. that means at some point it broke and the dursleys didn't think it was important to get it repaired. in the next scene the dursleys want to leave with their car. they exit the house and now you can see the houses in daylight and you notice once more: everything in this neighbourhood looks the same. all houses look the same, they all have the same shrub at the same wall

and they all have the same flower pot with the same flower with white blossoms on the roof over the front door. and the best part: they all have the same car! it's just a combi-van and the dursleys have it in silver and the neighbours have it in purple and the neighbours of the neighbours have it in dark blue and the neighbours of the neighbours of the neighbours have it in red. and i can't say for sure what model it is, but i assume 'cause in one scene you can't see the logo but you can see the letters

v a u x that it's a vauxhall car, which is basically the same as opel. vauxhall is a car company in great britain and they basically make the same car range as opel. they just slap their own logo on it and vauxhall is only a thing in great britain and ireland. by the way, vernon stops harry before they can get in the car and tells him: "if you do anything funny, you won't get food for one week." which in itself is a very educational sentence

and you want to give uncle vernon a 'best parenting. #1 dad' sticker stapled to his face. but i think they meant harry won't get real food and not no food at all because in english he says 'no meals for a week'. so no meals, in terms of he probably isn't allowed at the table to get a warm meal, but only gets some lame bread. i don't think the dursleys are that blatantly antisocial, that they starve a child for a week.

but then you never know, after all they lock him away. so they defintely are insane !(in german: have one on the waffle) and harry can only dream about waffles thank you harry is a string bean in general. i think he generally doesn't get more than dry toast without bacon and his one apple. you can also see in this scene, harry's wearing different clothes. his fancy clothes, one would say,

that are still too big but at least not completely torn. a dark blue squared button down, a faded blue shirt and far too big brown trousers, that barely get held together by a belt on his already way too slim waist and harry still looks like a walking collection of used clothes. here you can see what kind of bird bath the dursleys have in their garden. in case anyone cares: it is a plain brown, but pretty cool looking, bowl

looking like a trunk. now we know that too! change of location. we're at the zoo and you can see the entry to the reptile house, that a group of students exit and i almost went crazy 'cause i really wanted to know what school they were from. they're wearing green uniforms with green striped ties and the crest, the school emblem on their jackets, is a golden bird with spread out wings. and i wish there was a list with all school crests of england that you can check.

it is such an unimportant detail, but i would have liked to know and then mention it in this podcast as trivia, all cool and stuff, but i couldn't find anything! and all that you get when you google 'green uniforms harry potter england' is well slytherin. yeah thanks a lot. well done j.k. rowling, well done. and so the cycle closes... aaanyway we're at the zoo.

they filmed it at the london zoo where i was. that is an awesome zoo, really great.with the coolest animals ever like a potosi pupfish and many others, which you can also see on my youtube channel 'coldmirror' with the title 'sã¶nki und kaddi in london'. you can give it a look! and in general, if you're in london, go visit the zoo!

it is a little expensive, i think about 30€, but it's really nice! awesome park, awesome animals. everything is great. so, london zoo film location. however in the book, harry later tells hagrid, that he's never been to london before, that's why it's assumed that this zoo, that the dursleys and harry visit, isn't the london zoo, but an adventure park in surrey. the dursleys live in 4 privet drive, little whinging, surrey little whinging doesn't exist in reality,

but privet drive a couple of times for example in bristol. that is a tiny street, that, if you look at it in google street view kind of looks a little like the street the dursleys live in except for the huge pile of black garbage bags in someone's driveway and laundry hanging slightly too close to the street with.../panties/ and they're for sure not vernon dursley's... but as i said: if we believe the book it couldn't have been the london zoo

even though they filmed it there, but more likely chessington's world of adventures which is a theme park with a zoo in surrey, where the dursleys live. and there is also a reptile house there that has snakes. and in the next scene we see harry and dudley standing in front of the terrarium of a big snake. in the book it's a boa constrictor.

here in the movie it's a python. pythons were grouped in with boa constrictors for a really long time, but the newest genetic research says that that's incorrect because there are too many differences so it happens a lot that pythons and boas are mistaken for each other or even seen as the same thing so i'll forgive this little...faux pas of the movie creators. anyway, dudley finds the snake super boring because it isn't doing anything

and for a family that tries so hard to be as ordinary as possible they're acting totally obnoxious and loud and annoying uncle vernon's knocking on the glass, dudley's knocking on the glass he's yelling at the snake to move and it's a pity that petunia isn't hammering against the glass like crazy in her usual charming way "get up!! get up!!!" the way she did earlier on harry's door that would've really completed the picture also, in the beginning dudley says, "it should do something!!"

vernon knocks on the glass and says "are you deaf?" by the way, in the english version he just says, "move!" which was translated into german with "are you deaf?" they translated a one-syllable word into a three-syllable sentence that has a completely different meaning! "are you deaf?!" it's so stupid! it's as if the snake obviously understands the human language

but firmly decided to not move and be boring! very impolite. it must be deaf. the dursleys leave, bored, and harry apologizes to the snake for their stupid behaviour and the snake suddenly reacts we see the snake in a close up and because snakes are, well, snakes, and don't have human faces the special effects team deemed it totally necessary

to completely ignore the actual anatomy of a snake and to give it facial expressions it nods at harry and... blinks! which is actually impossible for a snake as snakes don't have eyelids consequently, they can't close their eyes like we humans do, let alone blink or wink snakes lose their skin and they have one eye scale that gets shed with everything else when they shed their skin by the way, you can tell if a snake's about to shed its skin by the milky eyes this eye scale, which protects the eye, is then already in the process of being shed

harry asks if the snake misses its home and the snake nods at a sign which you see in a close up and the sign says "bred in captivity" which harry relates to strongly as he similarly grew up in captivity with the dursleys i didn't see this sign in the london zoo i stood at the spot where this was filmed i've actually never seen a sign like this in a zoo

i ask myself if there's also the opposite of this sign that says "born in a forest, kidnapped and stuck into a zoo for human entertainment" that'd also be nice to know, but i've never seen a sign like that either so, harry's having a nice conversation with the snake, dudley sees this and comes running back pushes harry out of the way and yells, "mom, dad, look at this! the snake's doing crazy stuff right now!" yeah well what's the snake doing? is it juggling? is it eating a truck?! i wouldn't really categorize "lifting its head up" as "crazy stuff"

but maybe in the presence of vernon dursley normal actions such as "getting up" are already impressive dudley presses his face and his hands against the glass harry's lying on the floor and does his death stare again and the terrarium glass disappears and dudley falls inside the snake instantly slithers out and says "many thanksss" to harry and harry acts super cool and says "no problem" all the zoo visitors start screaming and run away dudley's now imprisoned in the terrarium because the glass that disappeared is there again

and he hits it in fear petunia freaks out and screams as well and bangs and punches the terrarium glass as well and vernon is...super chill just looks a little annoyed, with a, like, "oh...oh no.." facial expression in the background, the zoo visitors are still screaming and running around strangely enough, they're running in the direction that the snake slithered away in so they're not running away from it but towards it? and harry's finding everything super funny but then uncle vernon looks at him and the grin disappears from his face

and we think "oooooh shit, uncle vernon said no funny business" death keep mega (??what??) in the next scene, we're back at home by the dursleys petunia leads the soaked, shivering, wrapped up in a blanket dudley into the house and we can now see the other side of the corridor in which the door to harry's room is located there isn't anything super special here, you can see the wallpaper very well though there's a pattern of leaves on it, i'd say bamboo but i could also be mistaken

and diagonally over the door's a doorbell that's actually a bell like, a fancy wooden box with a bell underneath it that you'd usually see on like, bicycles it isn't actually that interesting but i've never seen anything like this before at my place, the doorbell's like a plain white box that the ringing noise then comes out of and they have like, a real old-fashioned bell i think it's cool, okay?! uncle vernon pushes harry into the house

harry almost falls onto his face vernon tugs at harry's hair, like really grabs a fistful of it and pulls and asks "what'd you do" and harry just whimpers "i dunno it was like magic" for that vernon literally throws little harry into the cupboard slams the door shut, locks it and says to harry, who's looking through the slits in the door sadly, "there is no magic!" and wham! he closes off the slits in the door and harry's sitting in the dark ah, oh jeez, poor boy, now he's all alone in the dark, oh no

well what just got closed off, those slits through which harry could look outside that isn't just a light source what'd a cupboard need that for, there's a lightbulb inside no, those are ventilation slits! you know i've gotten thoroughly angry about the fact that harry seems to get locked up in there often and about the fact that he doesn't get any warm meals but getting no air?! because the f**king ventilation"s closed off?!! i find that a bit much as a discipline method

what kind of bullsh*t? the dursleys physically abuse a kid lock him up, sometimes starve him and now also suffocate him?!!! awesome idea to leave harry with the dursleys, dumbledore real good. thumbs up. five stars. ten out of ten. good communication. would do again. top buyer. quick payment. top family. next scene.

an owl's flying through the sky with a letter in her claws and lets the letter fall, and then lands on a chimney in the background we can see the identical houses of privet drive very well this time the back side of the houses, as well with the cars again, as well, this time in blue, green, silver and black then we see a close up of a pair of leather shoes worn by dudley dursley who's wearing red stockings with them the camera moves upward along his legs

and shows a pair of short, red pants a red sweater, a red blazer and a fancy straw hat along with that, with a red ribbon and an 's' on it because he's going to smeltings soon aka. smelton academy this is his new school uniform he's being photographed in it by aunt petunia while he's leaning against a fireplace with a wide grin and the fireplace has all sorts of strange decorative items on it

two, like, porcellain couples in a rococo style like, fancy lil' people with wigs and ruffled dresses sitting at a coffee table then an old clock that's surrounded by similar figures and then also a really bad family photo of the dursleys bad because petunia's looking super irritated on the picture and isn't smiling at all dudley's also looking like "meh" and vernon dursley isn't looking at all because his eyes are closed!

i'm imagining that harry took this picture and vernon was like "cm'on boy, take a picture of us! and no funny business!" and harry just takes like 30 sh*tty photos that are all blurry or have like, fingers in the frame and yeah well, this one was the best out of all of them there weren't any digital cameras back then you couldn't check, "ah, the memory's full, thanks harry" so however this picture came to be who the hell decided to frame it

and thought, "this is it! we'll put this one on the fireplace!" "it can't get any better!" they took the photo 30 times and this one was the best one. speaking of photos: aunt petunia is photographing with a fujifilm camera because you can make out the word fuji on the camera and after long researching, i found out that this is the model fujifilm clear shot 10 auto by the way, that info isn't to be found in any harry potter trivia anywhere nobody ever looked that up before!

probably because nobody's that stupid and doesn't sit down and look at the movie frame by frame and think "who the hell is interested in camera models" "little f**kin background detail" "they gotta be f**kin crazy, heuh, hehfehfehfh" "to do that and look that up, pfehfeuhfueh" *realises that she is that person* by the way, the camera was made in about 1998 so it doesn't really fit into the movie in terms of the timeframe

since the movie takes place in 1991 i mean, suuuuch a movie mistake ugh, sorry but that's like, ugh, inexcusable "oh, my, god, becky, look at that fujifilm camera, ugh, that is so not in the timeframe, ugh" harry's standing in the corner and looking at dudley's school uniform confusedly and says "oh my god, ugh, oh my god becky, do i have to wear that too?" and everyone starts laughing as if harry just cracked the best joke ever

"huohuohuoh, you? to smeltings? huohuahuahuah...no. as if you'd ever get sent to such a fine school, you're obviously going to a 'public' school" (technically a state-funded community school since they call the snooty rich-kid schools 'public schools' in england) "and your uniform's here" and with these words petunia goes into the kitchen where a giant bucket's standing on the stove in which something's bubbling and petunia stirs that something around with a pair of tongs and we see that those are harry's new clothes

well, technically dudley's old clothes that are being re-dyed so harry can wear them to school wait a moment, petunia won't even stitch up a hole in harry's clothes and now, all of a sudden, the huge bucket over here and the clothes dyeing incredible! this is like, effort, this is labour-intensive stuff being done here f**kin gnarly. mom of the year. and then petunia tells harry to go get the mail

he waddles to the front door through the corridor in his, once again, far too big clothes now you can see pretty well that his pants have holes on both knees yeah yeah, he just doesn't have any clothes that are undamaged harry picks up the letters that are lying around on the doormat there are three of them: a holiday postcard, then one gas bill cos it says 'surrey gas' or something on it and a mysterious letter that is addressed to:

'mister h. potter, the cupboard under the stairs, 4, privet drive, little whinging, surrey' without a postage stamp but sealed with a fancy red wax stamp on the back hmhmmmm, who could this be from? the viewer (who isn't quite thinking grammatically correctly) is asking themself we're gonna find it out next time as harry goes back to the kitchen, gives uncle vernon the rest of the mail and so this podcast ends, once again, after five minutes i've rambled even more than in the last podcast episode

i've already seen by the online reactions that you, dear listeners, enjoy this format, i'm also happy that this appeals to people it's a lot of fun to make, i like doing it and i'll continue doing it however, this stupid research over stupid little details takes more time than i thought it would so please forgive me if the podcast only comes out once every couple of weeks but i think that that'll only improve the quality and then you'll also have something to look forward to for a longer time i'll be saying the outro the same way i did in the last podcast:

hopefully i'll hear from me, you'll hear from me, we'll all hear from each other next time, on the 5-minute harry podcast! byee! *yodeling song noises*

Subscribe to receive free email updates: