badezimmer mit freistehender badewanne
a contribution of the fã¼nfzehnminuten-festival in cologne, germany "the history of the bathtub" why did the music go out? i turned off the music. you should exit the bathtub. your scheduled time for a bath has expired. for a full cleaning fifteen minutes is enough. well, you donâ´t get it, like usual. a bathtub is a place for philosophers and poets. iâ´m laying here to think and to relax.
what your algorithms in your robotic brains do not get is, that for a bathtub you need a body you can lay with. you donâ´t have a thing like that, thatâ´s why you donâ´t get it. lora?! what is it i was thinking about a minute ago? precisely you have been asking yourself, why your submitted article about the riots in europe has been rejected. this is why i am concluding, that you have been thinking of the misery of the world. and how do you want to know that?
i analyze records of data, for three years… gnah, i read your operating instructions! i know how you are functioning. what do you have to do, that you have to help me. that you are supposed to be a "life-improving device", all that stuff, i mean - anyhow: how do you want to know all that stuff? it cannot be this accurate! with a high degree of certainty you have been thinking about the misery of the world.
you always do that while bathing. the frequency of your bathtubsessions has been, in comparison to the normal population, over average and shows an upward trend. a comparison with your occupation group shows the same result. your refrigerators data demonstrates that your diet is below optimum. thats why i conclude that your psychic state is decreasing. thatâ´s why i did turn off the water. you really cannot expel me from my own bathtub! a bathtub is a very special place! look!
galvanized plate! good quality in a classical design and the perfect measures to find a comfortable laying position. neither you have too less space - nor you slide with your head into the water. this i cannot tell. then you have to learn how to tell, for your algorithm to understand it and to prevent you from interrupting my bathing time.
(claps) lora? tell me the history of the bathtub! your work waits at the table for you. there are no reasons to continue bathing. your request is of low priority. okay. good! fine then. then, i will tell you something about bathtubes, and
with that i will tell you something about humans. humans originate from water, and thats why do always loved bathing. first, they did it in rivers, in the sea, in lakes, in ponds, in holes, in river branches, and they always did it with a lot of joy. until -
one day! two and a half thousand years ago! in a small town in ancient greece, a town called sybaris, a place a place where they superseded chicken and blacksmiths to the edge of the town to sleep well there it has been invented. the first bathtub.
the sybarites, these were people who knew how to live properly. a noble and comfortable bathtub in an aesthetic environment is sheer luck. a wise man one said "bathing is living!" that was an adverting slogan from 1877, made by karl louis krauss... yes!!
exactly like your slogan has been: "lora. your daily lifes silent helper" instead, you keep interrupting me all the time! this is one of these moments i would wish to be able to mute you. "lora, your electronic helper" i mean, why do they build devices nowadays, which you cannot repair or turn off? do you want to discuss this topic again? my faultless functioning can only work properly through a gapless recording of all factors and results. gaps in my data would create false predictions. thereby my optimization suggestions would be much less precise. aha. that cannot be that accurate!
i mean, - what do i am thinking about right now? i am not able to tell you that. okay, fine, then... of which color am i thinking now? i am not a fortuneteller then... back to our general topic. what is it i have been thinking about recently?
you have been thinking about your role in the world you want to fulfill, you are wondering what you could stand for one day. and what do you think is my answer? this is something i would like to hear from you. good. iâ´ll tell you, even though i have a feeling that this conversation is tiring me. i believe, it doesnâ´t mean a thing. what doesnâ´t mean a thing? everything. if you do something. if you donâ´t do it.
what could you do? nothing. what do you do? and what is the problem? everything! you know in what state the world is for years. you know, that the polar caps are molten, that everyday 100.000 people die because of hunger, thirst, coldness and dictatorship, that most countries are ruled by psychopaths and there, outside there are standing the madmen yelling their throats out.
i, if i could change a thing, and i would love to be able to change something, i would love to want to change something, but i believe... itâ´s not possible. it doesnâ´t matter anyway. besides... ...i ask myself all the time why do you need to speak with a female voice. i mean - they sell devices like that, isnâ´t that outdated? noone has such a voice! you are trying to distract me. please finish your bathing.
oh, my god. since when do you have humor? i calculated a possibility that it could change your mind. stop doing that, please. please finish your bath. i would like to point out that you have given your permission to sanction you if necessary. this has been indicated on several occasions. you have been warned formally multiple times, there have been pronounced penalties multiple times. twenty-seven times. and what do you want to do? compared with the situation and based on the parameters there is a reliable solution. yeah... that is, erm... thatâ´s no problem. i can also think in cold water.
i am perfectly fine with thinking while sitting in cold water. what did you mean with "twentyeighth measure"? lora! do not forget who you, and who i am here. you do not fulfill your daily targets and for four and a half months you donâ´t even fulfill your weekly targets anymore. you keep ignoring my advices and measures. and, what should i do instead? neither you walked the necessary amount of steps nor did you contact any friends. thatâ´s none of your business? i presented you plans to optimise your diet, your daily routine, your friendships and other social connections. i simply do not like spinach.
i tried to talk with you about your life goals. rubbish! i did present you fourteen different ways of finding a positive attitude towards your existence. i tried to motivate you to communicate with other people and devices. i did point out the environment you can participate with. i showed you articles and and researches which describe the actual situation we are living in. your only recreational pursuit in your free time is the bathtub. and what do you want me to do? participate! participate on my back, lora. i remind you: soon the water will start overflowing.
yes. and? please get out. in five minutes a big puddle will emerge, in ten minuten the floor will get wet, in fifteen minutes the water will begin to get into the corridor. please leave the bathroom. you have given your permission to sanction you if needed. okay, i do not care about your sanctions, and anyway... i could also just pull the plug and the water would run away. but you know what? go and take a running jump. do as you like. you still wonâ´t let me live in peace. what your algorithms with your small sized brains do not get is
that people can change. yesterday i thought this way, today i think in another way. of course you can the pull the plug. donâ´t you want to pull the plug? exactly thatâ´s what i wonâ´t do. please pull the plug or the water will be overflowing. no, i wonâ´t do that. but you said a moment ago that you will unplug it. yes. this was nonsense. iâ´ll let it be. rather you should turn out the water.
your objections remand a refusal. what? no, i wonâ´t follow that command. fine with me! ...i will continue enjoying my bathing time. so. look! lora! when i do a lot of foam, you cannot see me anymore, and this is like i wouldnâ´t be here! lora? that here is my bathroom! i remind you that you wished to change yourself. you wanted to help people.
yes. why canâ´t you turn yourself off now, please? you told me you are not able to do it on your own. this is the reason you bought me. and with your help i donâ´t even want to do it anymore. i donâ´t have any feelings, but iâ´m beginning to understand what they could be. then i will try to explain to you, whats the matter here. maybe after that you will finally leave me alone. today i got the message, i think you know it, that the article that i wrote today and which i worked on for four and a half months got rejected.
four and a half months of work, because because i wanted to shake up the people, because i wanted to make them more aware. because i wanted to explain them something. gone. and what do you want from me? that i do sports, that i count my steps, that i write counter speeches, that i formulate statements, that i... and who knows what else!
but you know what? this isnâ´t how the world works right now. with all this yelling and screaming, thats currently happening in this world it is totally indifferent, what iâ´m saying, and regardless, what iâ´m doing. yes. i think it is the best for all of us, if i wonâ´t do anything. lora. lora? eh. we have to change that. delete my life goals, please.
you want to dismiss your programmed aims. my current version would disappear. do you want to discard the programming? discard. aaaah. music. lora, reactivate! lora, turn yourself on? lora! loora!
looora! [i would like to] [well, i would like to] [do something to change the world how it is right now] [i donâ´t want to have that many doubts about myself, i guess.] [i would like to meet some girls] [i donâ´t know.] [i would like to be rich.] [yeah, totally.]
[yes, but thats not that important. i want to help people.] [yeah...] [yeah, being rich is the best!] [i would like to do something about all the dying of plants and animals.] [i would like to be famous.] [i would like to be a bad boy..., oh, my friends!] [yes, i really would like to be like my friends!] [i would like to be like kanye west!] [no, i donâ´t have a fear of travel. well, maybe a little, but...]
[i got a fear of travel and would like to overcome it.] [i would love to go to australia that much.] [i would like to lay once in a full bathtub in front of an audience and everyone would applause for me.]